Parenting isn’t just a full-time job, it’s also often a comedy special you didn’t sign up for. From grocery store tantrums to kids with snappy comebacks, these hilarious moments prove kids and their parents are the ultimate jokesters!

Mom’s Final Resting Place

A 97-year-old woman sits down with her attorney to discuss her last wishes.

“I have two requests before I die,” she begins. “First, I want to be cremated.”

The attorney nods respectfully. “Of course, I can arrange that.”

The woman continues, “And second, I’d like my ashes to be scattered over the roof of the Walmart down the road.”

The attorney blinks in surprise. “Walmart? Why Walmart?”

The old woman chuckles. “Because that way, I know my daughters will come to see me at least twice a week!”

The Case of the Missing Ladle

John, a well-to-do bachelor, invited his mother over for dinner one night. During the meal, the mum couldn’t help but notice how attractive her son’s housekeeper was and wondered if there was more going on than meets the eye.

John sensing what his mother was thinking said to her: “I know what you’re thinking, mum, but I assure you my relationship with the housekeeper is purely professional.”

A week later, the housekeeper told John that ever since his mother’s visit a silver gravy ladle has been missing. John sent his mother a note that said: “Mom, I’m not saying you did take the gravy ladle, and I’m not saying you didn’t, but the fact remains one has been missing since you were here.”

A few days later he receives a note from his mother. “I’m not saying you’re involved with your housekeeper, and I’m not saying you’re not. But if she were sleeping in her own bed, she would’ve found the ladle by now.”

The Birds, the Bees, and the Backfire

A mom calls her young daughter into the kitchen for “The Talk.”

Clearing her throat, she says, “Sweetie, I think it’s time we discussed… you know… sex.”

The daughter smirks and replies, “Alright, Mom! So, what have you heard so far?”

The Whisper Lesson
One evening, a little boy runs into the living room full of guests and shouts, “MOM! I GOTTA PEE!”

Embarrassed, his mom pulls him aside and says, “Sweetie, we don’t say that. Instead, just say you need to whisper if you have to go to the bathroom.”

The next night, he tries it out. “Mom, I need to whisper,” he says quietly, and she takes him to the bathroom, proud of his new manners.

Later, he finds his dad watching TV and says, “Dad, I need to whisper.”

Without looking away from the screen, his dad grins and says, “Alright, buddy — whisper in my ear.”

Secrets Unlocked
A little girl sits in the backseat as her mom drives her to a playdate. Out of the blue, the girl asks, “Mommy, how old are you?”

Her mom sighs and says, “Sweetie, that’s not a polite question to ask someone.”

The girl thinks for a moment and then asks, “Okay, how much do you weigh?”

Annoyed, the mom responds, “That’s none of your business.”

Not giving up, the little girl asks, “Well, why did you and Daddy get a divorce?”

The mom, now clearly frustrated, snaps, “That’s enough! Stop asking so many personal questions!”

Later that day, the little girl is telling her friend about the conversation. Her friend then tells her, “Just go and look at her driving license! It’s like a report card.”

The next day, the girl proudly announces to her mother, “I figured out everything about you, Mommy! I looked at your driver’s license. You’re 35, weigh 145 pounds, and you and Daddy got a divorce because you got an ‘F’ in sex!”

God Will Provide… Apparently
A young woman brings her fiancé home to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother suggests that her father get to know the young man better, so the father invites him to his study for a drink.

The father begins, “So, what are your plans for the future?”

The fiancé replies confidently, “I’m a scholar, sir.”

The father nods, then asks, “That’s admirable, but how will you provide a nice home for my daughter?”

The fiancé smiles. “I will study hard, sir, and God will provide.”

“And what about a beautiful engagement ring?” the father presses

“I will focus on my studies, and God will provide,” the fiancé repeats.

The father narrows his eyes. “And children? How will you support them?”

“Don’t worry, sir. God will provide.”

Later, the mother asks her husband how the conversation went.

He sighs and says, “The boy has no job, no plans, and worst of all, he thinks I’m God.”

Missy’s Grocery Store Adventure
A man notices a woman with a three-year-old in her shopping cart.

In the cookie aisle, the little girl screams for cookies. The mom calmly says, “Now, Missy, we’re almost done. Don’t make a fuss.”

In the candy section, the girl starts whining. The mom replies gently, “There, there, Missy. Just two more aisles, and we’ll be checking out.”

At the checkout line, the girl howls for gum. The mom reassures, “Missy, we’ll be home soon for a bottle and a nap.”

Impressed by her patience, the man compliments her in the parking lot. “I admire how calm you stayed with little Missy,” he says.