A man enters the emergency room with two black eyes, multiple lacerations, and a seven iron wrapped around his neck. The doctor pulls him into one of the examining rooms and says, “What the hell happened to you, my friend?”

“Well, doc,” the man replies, “It’s like this. My wife and I were out on the golf course off the eighth tee when we both wind up slicing into a cow pasture next to the course. So we both head into the pasture to see if we can find our balls. Now, doc, when we play, I usually play a white ball, and my wife plays an orange one.”

“So what happened in the cow pasture?” the doctor asks.

“Okay, so we’re hunting around for a few minutes, and neither one of us is having any luck. Then I notice this cow walking kind of funny and flicking her tail. So I go up, lift the cow’s tail, and there’s an orange ball lodged right in the cow’s rectum!

“So I call over to my wife, lift the cow’s tail for her to see, and I say, ‘Hey, honey, this looks like yours!’

“Doc, that’s the last thing I remember….”